Anxiety.
Just seeing the word can be daunting for many people, myself included, but it's a topic that needs to be discussed. It has taken me numerous years to gather the confidence to delve into it in-depth. While I have always advocated for mental health and emphasised the importance of open conversations, I have hesitated to share my own experiences in great detail. Please know that it's not because I feel embarrassed or ashamed, but rather due to the concern of triggering myself while discussing it. It's crucial to strike a balance between raising awareness and taking care of our own well-being whilst doing so.
Let's bring it back to a day that's embedded into my brain as if it happened only yesterday.
Monday 13th April, 2015.
The intricate web of emotions that is all things anxiety had been woven into the fabric of my existence since my earliest years. However, it wasn't until this particular day, amidst my apprenticeship, that the veil of ignorance was lifted.
Picture this: a colossal panic attack, unfurling before the watchful eyes of my apprenticeship college tutor, and my manager. The sheer embarrassment that gripped a hold of my whole skin, absorbing into my very being and moulding itself around my brain that captures memories. That memory is deeply ingrained in my mind, and I often yearn for it to fade away. However, as humiliating as that moment felt, it doesn't even scratch the surface of the most distressing public panic episodes that I've had.
The panic episode persisted for a duration of two hours, causing me great distress. Despite the sincere efforts of both my tutor and manager to alleviate my anxiety, their attempts proved futile. It seemed as though the ordeal would never cease, but eventually, it did. Upon arriving home, my mother promptly arranged an appointment with my GP (general practitioner), leading to an official diagnosis of anxiety.
During my appointment, I poured out all my feelings to the doctor. She listened attentively as I rambled on. Honestly, I don't know how she managed to make sense of my jumbled words and stuttering. My mother was there the whole time, providing comfort and confidence in the midst of my confusion. However, the moment I received the diagnosis, everything clicked. After all those years of feeling off, confused, and scared, it finally all made sense. I wasn't going crazy, I never was. It was anxiety.
After years of enduring inexplicable symptoms, a revelation unfolded, piece by piece. The struggle for breath, a sudden metamorphosis from scorching heat to bone-chilling cold, drenched in sweat, and that swift yet paralysing sensation of impending demise. Time seemed to decelerate, while the world around me whirled in a frenzied blur. Utterly bereft of control, I found myself questioning the very fabric of existence. It was a truly terrifying experience.
But then, everything changed with the diagnosis of my anxiety. It was like a light illuminating the complex labyrinth of my mind. Suddenly, it all made sense. I realised that I wasn't alone in this struggle, and I wasn't going crazy. And that's exactly what I want to convey to you, my dear readers. You're not alone, and you're definitely not insane.
So... What's my Goal?
In sharing my story, my hope is to break the stigma surrounding anxiety and let others know that they're not alone. Anxiety is a real and valid experience, and it's important to recognise that. Sadly, there are those who dismiss anxiety, claiming it doesn't exist or that it's merely a cry for attention. It's disgusting that even in 2024, people still don't understand or grasp that anxiety exists. But let me assure you, anxiety is a real and valid experience that millions of people, including myself, face every day.
It's disheartening that some individuals may be too ignorant or unwilling to understand the impact of anxiety. Perhaps, deep down, they're struggling with their own anxiety and feel ashamed to acknowledge it. However, it's crucial to emphasise that anxiety is not a sign of weakness or attention-seeking. It's a genuine struggle that deserves empathy, support and understanding.
So, my dear readers, let's stand together to combat the misconceptions and educate others about the reality of anxiety. Together, we can create a compassionate community that uplifts and supports everyone on their journey towards mental well-being.
Mental health is not something to be ashamed of or hide away. By opening up about our own struggles, we can create a supportive community where everyone feels understood and accepted.
I also want to provide practical tips and strategies that have helped me navigate my anxiety. From deep breathing exercies to grounding techniques, there are many tools available to help manage anxiety. Remember, what works for one person may not work for another, it's not a one size fits all, so it's important to find what resonates with you.
In the next section of the blog post, I'll be sharing some of these practical tips and strategies. Stay tuned for some valuable insights that can make a real difference in your journey towards managing anxiety.
All my love,
Shannen. xox
If you feel like you do need support with your mental health, please phone any of the following:
Mind on 0300 123 3393 (open 9am to 6pm weekdays)
Samaritans on 116 123 (always open)
Campaign Against Living Miserably on 0800 58 58 58 (open 5pm until midnight)
CALL (Wales) on 0800 123 737
Or if you're under 25, text THEMIX to 85258, who are always open.
Click Here to find your local mental health services
If it's an emergency or you need urgent help
- If you or someone else is in danger, call 999 or go to A&E now
- If you need urgent help for your mental health, get help from NHS 111 online or call 111
Your mental health is as important as your physical health. You will not be wasting anyone's time.
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